Day 57

Tuesday 28^th December 2010

So we got up and headed down to reception to make our complaints about the room and the disturbed night’s sleep and plead for our money back on our remaining 5 night’s accommodation so we could make other arrangements. The guys at the desk agreed that our room really wasn’t great for a honeymooning couple but explained that there was nothing that could be done without speaking to the manger, Peggy, who was currently dealing with the fact that the Fire Brigade were not too impressed with the repetitive and unwarranted use of the fire alarm.

We headed off to the tourist information office to see if we could source alternative accommodation in the meantime. There was a very helpful chap at the accommodation desk who sent us off to view a room in a shared guesthouse called ‘Barbara’s’. On arrival at ‘Barbara’s’ there was another lady struggling up the steps with a suitcase. Franky helped her in with her bags. Barbara appeared at the front door looking quite sheepish… it seemed she’d promised the room to both of us – as the lady was literally two steps ahead of us, al be it purely due to Franky’s gentlemanly help she got the room! Bugger!

We headed back to Tourist Info and spent the next hour with the chap there searching for accommodation – funnily enough most places were fully booked for the New Year period! It was going to cost us $1300 for a cabin for the 5 remaining nights we needed (about £870). This was over £550 more than our original accommodation so we left to ‘have a think about it’.

We headed back to Nomad’s where Peggy was now free but told us that Nomad’s work on a ‘no refund’ policy and therefore we couldn’t have our money back – so there was no thinking required – we definitely couldn’t afford alternative accommodation. She agreed to get us out of a bunk bed room and give us a proper double bed, and offered us one night in a room with private en suite at no extra cost. Unfortunately it was only for one night as it was not available after that. We agreed that this was the best we could do in a town that was bulging at the seams and headed out in search of breakfast/lunch.

We found a great pub on the front called the Beach Hotel where we had lunch and a few schooners of beer. The weather is lousy in Byron. Queensland, a bit further North of here, is experiencing tropical cyclones and we’re getting the tail of end of them. It is grey and murky with thick cloud. Only blessing is it isn’t actually pouring down here and it’s still pretty hot – but we’re gonna have to rethink our planned 5 days on the beach.

We headed back to the hostel to check into our new room – this was soooooooo much better. A double bed, Ok it was 2 singles pushed together – but it beat the bunk hands down! And a bathroom, a fridge and a balcony!!! Franky jumped straight into the bed to catch up on his missed night’s sleep and I headed off in search of the laundry facilities – the reality of married life finally kicking in!!!!

We headed out into the town to pick up some groceries – Woolworths is still going strong here and is a supermarket chain. With tomorrow’s breakfast stuff sorted and some nibbles for tonight we grabbed another bottle of bubbles from the bottle shop – this came with two complimentary champagne flutes – we’re gonna fit right in at the hostel!!!! We made use of our facilities – chilled champagne drunk on our balcony over looking the hostel piazza where the night was heating up and the booze was flowing.

Once ready we headed down to join them – and realised that these people weren’t actually wild animals as we had suspected in the early hours of this morning, nor were we the oldest kids on the block! We chattered with 3 Aussies whilst watching, and occasionally participating in a very interesting drinking game that was being played on the next table – Franky had an ice cube wiped over his face and I got a male lap dance!!! We ended up staying there far longer than we had intended – we had been on our way out for tea but it was gone 11.00pm when we eventually left the hostel. We headed to the Beach hotel which had a live band on and caught the last few songs of their set.

Hunger eventually got the better of us and we left in search of food and found…. Kebabs! Yes! So it was kebabs in bed and off to sleep…… night!

Day 56

Monday 27^th December 2010

We had been warned that the whole of Sydney would be hitting the road and heading up the coast for the Summer holidays today so we were up and out in an attempt to beat the traffic – knocking on the doors of Hertz at 7.30am!

We were given a brand new Toyota Corrolla. We had our doubts about this as the car was automatic. We’d booked a manual car but there were none ‘in stock’ so it was automatic and beat the traffic or wait for a manual car to be returned. Given that we’d got up so early it seemed stupid to lose our advantage over the rest of Sydney so we took the automatic, threw in the luggage and hit the road. ROAD TRIP!!!!!!!

It was a public holiday so there was no morning rush hour, the streets of Sydney were deserted. Congratulating each other on our ability to beat the rush we crossed the Harbour bridge and sailed out of Sydney, heading North on the Pacific Highway.

This was a deserted, winding and tortuous road with hairpin bends and a disproportionate number of cyclists to avoid. Knowing we had about 800km to cover today we were worried quite how long this would take when we realised that we were following exactly the same route as the freeway which was a straight road with 3 lanes and a much more respectable speed limit of 110kmph – so we joined it! From there it was plain sailing, or rather driving, up to Newcastle where the freeway ends and we had to rejoin the Pacific Highway. Interestingly we could turn off here to both Newcastle AND Cardiff. The Aussies clearly couldn’t be bothered coming up with their own place names as we also passed Gloucester and Stroud. Or when they had to come up with a place name they could at a push all be it very unimaginative yet descriptive names – 12 mile hill, 9 mile beach, 8 mile creek – it seems that here size does matter! Bobbin Heads and Bald Knob Cove were amongst our favourites.

All was going well until we reached BulaDelah where we now know the road goes down to one lane – I mean this is THE road North around the coast which is the most populated part of Australia and they have a single lane ‘A’ road to get there – what are these people thinking?! We spent a couple of hours snarled up in traffic here with the mass exodus from Sydney that we had been promised. One kid clearly realised he had faster modes of transport at his disposal as he sailed past us on his skate board!

We’d planned a rest stop for lunch with Sheridan (who we appear to be following across the planet) and her bloke Nick at his family’s beach house at Blackhead beach. She had sensibly flown up the day before! We arrived some two hours later than scheduled to a warm welcome lunch of Xmas left overs – turkey and ham sandwiches! We had a quick trip to check out the beach before it was time to hit the road again (after a final, final, final goodbye with Sheridan – we promise not to follow you anymore!)

We had another 500km or so to cover so reckoned we’d make it to Byron for about 7.00pm. How wrong were we! What with the combination of yet more holiday traffic, endless roadworks (with nobody bloody working on the road!) and stupidly low speed limits we had over another 6 hours driving to go.

As we approached our final destination in the dark the rains began to fall – typical!!! There’s nothing I enjoy more than driving in the dark and rain when you’ve been in a car for 12 HOURS. Franky’s belly was rumbling and we’d seen a sign for KFC at Ballina, the last town before Byron Bay so decided to stop for some grub – it was 8.30pm after all!!! I drove the length of the high street looking for the cheeky Colonel… and then was made to turn around and go back and look again – he REALLY, REALLY wanted KFC!!! But all to no avail. There was a McDonalds but after yesterdays vomiting that wasn’t satisfactory so it was two very grumpy, tired and still hungry road trippers who eventually rocked up in the party town that is Byron bay at 9.00pm.

When booking accommodation we’d not been able to find much in our budget here so we were hostelling for the next 6 nights. We (eventually) found Nomads and checked in….. to what can only be described as some kind of frat’ house. Music pumping out along the corridors and drunken kids everywhere. We felt like the parents had arrived. Too tired to really take all this in we found our private ‘double’ room. This was a double bottom bunk with a single bunk over the top – not really what we had in mind for the honeymoon! We threw the bags down and headed out for some grub. I was firmly of the opinion that places are never as bad as they seem when you’ve had a good meal and a good night’s sleep and that it would all be OK. Food sorted we headed back for that good night’s sleep.

Franky clambered over me, cracked his head on the upper bunk and informed me that I could get up to do the lights. Too tired to protest I obliged and dropped off into the land of slumber…… but not for long….. as some bright (and rather pissed) spark thought it would be hilarious to break the glass on the fire alarm. Vaguely reminiscent of life in halls in first year I groaned and got up. Looking out of the window there was a full scale fight going on in the street (what type of place is this?!) so I left the room to use the bathroom and to see if we needed to evacuate – on finding a girl in the shower and the corridors still full of drunken kids I assumed that evacuation was unnecessary and headed back to bed. When the fire alarms were eventually silenced at 2am some lad took up the mantle by running the corridors shouting ‘fire alarm’ and knocking on everyone’s doors – what a joker!!!

We fell back into an uneasy sleep only to be woken at 8am by…. you guessed it – the fire alarm! it was s bit like I imagine a wake up siren would be in the army. Franky smiled at me through gritted teeth and said, ‘Well we can’t stay here another night’…..

Day 54

Saturday 25^th December 2010: CHRISTMAS DAY

Merry Christmas!!!

We woke at 10am and grabbed breakfast in the hotel before skyping my folks – still Xmas Eve for them though!

We had a lovely, lazy morning in the hotel and then packed everything up for Xmas Day with our adopted Aussie family (who we still hadn’t met). We were headed to Collaroy in Northern Sydney so decided we’d stop off at Manly en route. Fortunately Sydney’s excellent public transport system is fully operational on Xmas day so it was our usual routine of the train down to Circular Quay, followed by the ferry across the harbour.

On arrival at Manly it was time for Xmas dinner….. at a joint called Burger Me overlooking the beach! We had massive lamb burgers washed down with ice cold Becks – now that’s my kind of Xmas dinner.

Time had run away with us so we didn’t really have time to lie on the beach and jumped in a taxi to Collaroy. Franky underwent a quick change in the taxi…

We were given the warmest welcome as Santa and Rudolph – people even seemed to be genuinely delighted with their socks!!!

Sheridan and her brother Hamish were there with her folks, Diana and Rob. Rob’s brother Bruce, his wife Susan and 3 of their 4 kids – Luke, Ali and James. Their eldest daughter Claudia is away in Morrocco and they’d had a tearful phone call from her earlier in the day – perhaps this is why they were so accommodating when it came down to taking in the two honeymooning Brit’s who were thousands of miles from home. They couldn’t have been more hospitable – within seconds Franky had an ice cold beer and I had a glass of Champagne – and we were never without a drink until the moment we left.

This was the home of Hamish and Luke and the setting was perfect…. The house opened up onto an ample deck which is where the family had just finished their Xmas dinner. And the deck looked out over the ocean dotted with surfers.

We had arrived in time for dessert – homemade Chrismas pudding from Susan’s family recipe handed down from her Great Grandmother. It was served with cream and custard and was delicious.

Throughout the course of the afternoon and evening various friends and family dropped by – everyone seemed to arrive with a drink in hand. I dread to think how much booze was put away.

‘Santa’ went down a storm with 3 year old Penelope.

I’m not sure that a drinking, smoking Santa is the best role model but she didn’t seem to mind!

She was most confused when Franky changed into his regular clothes. ‘Santa’ had accidentally left his hat on the table and she excitedly took it away when she left to keep safe for him for next year! I think she’ll be bitterly disappointed when ‘Pommie Santa’ doesn’t make a habit of dropping in.

Speaking of ‘Pommie Santa’ – Franky was delighted to eventually get some cricket banter with the Aussie males.

As the night progressed and the alcohol flowed a guitar was dug out and Franky had to sing for his supper – not a bad deal as the Barbie was started and we had a sausage sizzle.

Time marched on with boozy chat and good tunes and we realised we needed to be getting off to catch the last ferry back to the city. Our hosts wouldn’t hear of that and it seemed we were welcome back at Rob and Diana’s with Sheridan!

Sheridan went to order taxis….. and passed out!

We found her about an hour later fast asleep on her brother’s bed!!! The taxi was eventually ordered and we headed off to her parent’s apartment where we were very grateful to be given a bed for the night.

Day 53

Friday 24^th December 2010: CHRISTMAS EVE

We’re final getting acclimatised – only 7am when we woke up today! Woo hoo! By the time we leave Australia I reckon we’ll have it sorted!!!

We had planned to head back to Bondi beach today but the weather wasn’t looking too great – in that it was cloudy… and windy… and cold. We had stuff to sort out for Xmas Day so decided to spend the day pottering around Darlo instead. As soon as that decision was made the sun came out in full force – typical!

I managed to get my hair chopped which was cool.

On returning to the hotel we discovered that the Franks had been in touch with Santa about leaving us an early present before he starts the deliveries tonight…. There was a bottle of champers in our fridge and a note… so we tucked into that as I got the business of present wrapping underway. THANK YOU!!!

Tomorrow afternoon we’ve been lucky enough to be invited to Sheridan’s brother’s at the beach for a BBQ with her folks and the rest of the family. Not wanting to turn up empty handed we’ve bought them all a gift – I say all, we have no idea how many people will be there so we’ve bought gifts for 12 – 6 boys and 6 girls – any more than that and people will have to go without! We racked our brains about what to buy these mythical 12 people that we’ve never met…. And decided you can’t go wrong with socks. Everyone gets socks at Xmas right?! So I spent the afternoon wrapping 12 pairs of socks. We also decided that when in Australia everyone should get a lollipop and a tacky Koala bear…. OK so that’s what we could find in the ‘dollar shop!’

We had booked a Christmas Eve cruise on Sydney harbour with food and unlimited alcohol. It was fancy

dress so this is what we’d cobbled together….

....feeling pretty self conscious we passed through reception onto the streets of Sydney. We were running a little late and didn’t really fancy public transport in our chosen outfits so we grabbed a taxi down to Darling harbour.

Once we arrived we were pleased to see that most of backpackers had gone for the fancy dress theme.

We didn’t feel so out of place as we joined the masses of revellers in cargo bar for a pre cruise drinky. I discovered that Franky’s outfit wasn’t the best thought out as I returned from the loo…. and couldn’t find him. Not something I would usually think would be a problem looking for a bloke who is 6’1’’ and wearing a santa outfit…. But today they were everywhere!!!

At just gone 7.00pm we boarded the huge party boat.

There were stacks of drinks laid out on tables for you to take your pick… and wheelie bins full of ice and refills – mint! We grabbed a bite to eat and then headed up to the top deck to take in the sights of Sydney.

It’s a bit surreal… It’s Christmas Eve, it’s hot, the back drop is amazing, you can grab any drink you want from the bar at any time without putting your hand in your pocket and you’re on a boat with 600 other party people who just wanna get drunk and have a good time – what’s not to like?

After passing under the harbour bridge and past the opera house we headed down stairs to the dancefloor for a bit of a boogie!

Santa danced so much he split his pants!

No more mince pies for you!

The boat docked back at Darling Harbour at about 10.30pm and the alcohol fuelled passengers were all directed to a club called The Gaff to continue the party. We headed on up there in a taxi and were fortunate enough to beat the queues.

We did a bit more drinking and a bit more dancing to see in Christmas Day 2010 and then we stumbled home to the hotel and fell into bed.

MERRY XMAS EVERYONE!!

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Day 52

Thursday 23^rd December 2010

We got up to a cloudy day but determined not to be put off we headed back to Manly beach on the ferry. We had a spot of Xmas shopping to do and then headed down to the beach.

Despite the cloud it was hot and the beach was packed – with Aussie school kids. We found a space the size of a postage stamp and lay down for a peaceful hour of cloudbathing – or so we thought! Surrounded by the boiling pot of hormones of the Aussie youth the beach was anything but peaceful. Franky assumed the role of grumpy old man and after an hour or so of general observational grumbling he declared, ‘Well I can’t stay here all day, I can’t relax!’….. so we had to move.

The teens were also scattered all the way down the Corso (main street) to Hungry Jack’s (Aussie Burger King) so we grabbed a take away salad for lunch and went down the promenade for a picnic.

Where we appeared to have happened upon a group of holidaying monks! They were happily posing for picture with their digital cameras whilst listening to their iPods but still wearing only the traditional orange robes – how random? Then they were all packed away on a coach and whisked away!

After lunch we headed down the beach to a more peaceful spot where grumpy old man Frank was able to concentrate on his novel.

He even contemplated venturing into the sea as there were big waves today …. But, on spotting a couple of jellyfish on the way in, he chickened out and came back to the towel! We’ve since been informed that these jellyfish are completely harmless!!!

We made our way back to the ferry via the ice cream joint in the ferry terminal (they do the BEST strawberry icecream ever). Franky is now ambivalent about the amazing vistas of Sydney harbour. Despite having prime spot at the front of the boat he was too engrossed in his Lee Child novel to give them a second glance.

We got back to the hotel with just enough time to shower and change before heading back out to the Ship Inn at Circular Quay for our dinner date with Sheridan and her fella, Nick. We put away a few schooners of beer as the sun went down and then headed up into the rocks, the oldest area of Sydney, which is full of pubs and restaurants. Sheridan’s recommendation was to do the gormet pizzas at The Australian Hotel and this was a good one. We had a duck pizza, a tandoori chicken and a surf and turf they were so gooooooooood! Throw in a huge bowl of wedges, salad and a great bottle of (New Zealand?) red wine and we made a happy foursome. The company was great. Nick is a good laugh… and takes banter well. He almost spat his beer all over us when Franky called him ‘Sailor Boy’ – that’s what you get when a well built 6 foot odd Aussie bloke comes out for dinner in white jeans and a blue and white stripey shirt!!!!

The pub eventually closed up around us and as Sheridan and Nick had work the next day we thought we’d better called it a night so we headed home to bed.