Day 93

Wednesday 2^nd February 2011

This time next week I’ll be getting up for work – Ow! That’s reality biting and it’s not pleasant.

This is our last full day of honeymoon, so as a special treat I didn’t even set the alarm. Consequently we didn’t wake up until 11.00am. When I threw back the curtains I saw that although we’d missed breakfast we hadn’t missed much else. It had clearly been raining for much of the morning.

The weather was still lousy. We had been planning to spend our last full day at the beach but there seemed to be little point.

Instead we have mostly been lazing around in the hotel room. We didn’t even get dressed – I just put on my hotel bathrobe and spent the day lazing away on the day bed on the balcony. We got peckish and so ordered room service.

I’ve been getting the blog up to date before we come home and Franky has been watching Dexter on DVD since he’s missed the last series at home. On the whole it was been a lovely afternoon.

By 3.30pm the sun still hadn’t put in an appearance so we concluded that the beach was a no go and got back into the hot tub instead to finish off the bottle of wine from last night. And then Franky went back to bed for a nap – honestly that boy can sleep for England. I have no idea how!

As part of the package when we booked the accommodation we were given a seafood dinner for two in the hotel restaurant to celebrate Chinese New Year which is today. Neither of us are much into seafood but thought we’d give it a try – it wasn’t going to cost us anything so why not!

We got down to the restaurant at 7.00pm and there was just one other couple in there who were also having the seafood platter. It was quite romantic in the candlelit restaurant overlooking the island. Although it was very windy so we couldn’t sit out.

The seafood platter was OK. We had crab and lobster, some fish fillet, king prawns and mussels. We had fun trying to get the meat out of the crab claws with our cutlery in the mood lighting. At least no one else could tell we didn’t have a clue what we were doing!

It came with tempura vegetables, salad and rice which would have all been delicious if it wasn’t a little cold. You see the thing with this resort is your expectations are really high because you’ve paid a lot of dough out and its supposed to be 5*, so when things aren’t perfect you get a bit upset. For instance, they didn’t replenish the mini bar, not the end of the world I know, but when you’ve enjoyed something out of it one night (which is chargeable at 5* resort prices) you’d expect to be able to enjoy it again the next. One night a bloke came to turn down the sheets and light an anti mosquito candle which was lovely, but where was he for the other two nights? One night a fella came to the room and delivered our pool towels and a fruit bowl, the next day we went to ask for pool towels and were told that there was too many guests for everyone to have a towel and the place was half empty! And on and on the story goes but to get back to the point the food was cold because the lovely women in the restaurant (and they were lovely) decided that we needed an additional table to put all the different foods they brought out on, by the time they’d finished messing about, the food was cold. We didn’t complain as it was complimentary but it certainly answered the question as to why the restaurant was dead every night.

After dinner we planned on doing a pub crawl through Chaweng for our last night. There had been a storm brewing all day but it had just kept spitting and then giving up. When we eventually left the confines of the room the heavens opened properly and as we made our way down the hill in the hotel’s golf buggy it began to pour with rain. Perfect weather for a pub crawl!

We jumped in a Song Thaew and headed to the other end of town where we started in Tropical Murphys with a pint of Chang a piece.

From there we moved on to an Aussie bar very inventively named Bondi bar and also stepped up our game, moving onto cocktails. They had a standard issue mediocre Thai live band on.

From there we were headed to legends when we heard music pumping out of a bar up a side street which was full of holiday makers. It was billed as a cabaret bar – it was certainly entertaining. The bulk of the ‘touts’ / ‘waitresses’ were lady boys. Some of them you had to look twice at as they were quite convincing. Others were so desperately butch it was hilarious. It seemed the majority of the cabaret dancers were also male. Some had had ‘the op’ other just liked playing dress up. There were a few female dancers in there too to add confusion. We spent an hour making our way through a jug of vodka red bull and playing ‘boy or girl?’

 

When it was time to leave we were accosted by one of the ‘waitresses’ who asked if we would like a photo. It seemed rude to refuse so we agreed. I was first as the ‘lady’. I was more than shocked when ‘she’ hoiked down ‘her’ clingy dress to reveal her boobs and then grabbed my hand and thrust it on top. Franky wasn’t getting away with it either. The camera was passed to me and then it was his turn!

Finally ‘she’ demanded a tip for the photo. Franky dug in his wallet and pulled out 100 Bhat. ‘She’ wanted that placing in ‘her’ knickers which ‘she’ pulled down leaving under no illusion that ‘she’d’ gone for the full top and tails option with ‘her’ surgeon!!! I had honestly thought there were no more ‘experiences’ to be had as the honeymoon was so near the end – how wrong could I be!

A little dazed by what had just occurred we hurried to the safety of legends bar for some of their super strong cocktails in the hope that we could obliterate some of the memories.

A few drinks later at 2.00am we headed back to our little haven of luxury for one final night.

Day 92

Tuesday 1^st February 2011

We woke up at 9.30am in the comfiest bed, it might even be more comfortable than our bed at home but don’t tell it we said so! I’d set the alarm because I didn’t want to miss out on the breakfast in a 5 star hotel. I wasn’t disappointed. There was a variety of things to eat on the self service bars – fruit, cereal, yoghurt, toast, jam, croissants, bacon, tomatoes, sausage, pancakes, cheese, ham, bread, fried red snapper and rice (I kid you not – they were catering for all cultures here!). there was an egg chef to make you fresh eggs however you wanted them. There was even a juice chef with a variety of fruit and vegetables. You could pick the combination and he would make fresh juice and bring it to your table. I could get used to this!!!

After breakfast we made our way down to the pool. It was an infinity pool looking out over the ocean.

The sun finally decided to make an appearance and we headed down to the beach. There was a shuttle bus service operated from reception.! They took us down to the other end of the resort to their sister hotel located on the beach. The sun loungers were actually double beds with independent head ends so you could have it set to your own personal preference and were really comfy. Gone are the days of trying to get comfy on a hard plastic sun lounger.

We had lunch at a beach restaurant. I had a fantastic massaman curry with huge chunks of beef.

All too soon it was time to leave the beach and head back to the hotel in the shuttle bus. We grabbed a quick shower to de-sand before heading to the hotel’s spa for a massage. This was included in our booking for free and should have cost £76 for the two of us! We had a full hour aromatherapy massage each – bliss!

After that we headed to the hotel bar to watch the sunset where they were doing complimentary red wine for guests – yay!

Franky was worn out from his day of luxury and pampering and so he went for a sleep while I enjoyed the facilities back in our room.

For dinner we had decided to go to a restaurant that came highly recommended called ‘The Shack’ at Fisherman’s Village, Bophut. This turned out to be abot 25 minutes drive away in a taxi but the girls at reception were more than happy to sort one out for us – you really don’t have to left a finger in this place!

The place is owned by an Aussie bloke called Larry and is famous for it’s steaks. After starters of ribs (Franky) and volcanically hot buffalo wings (me – wlthough I couldn’t finish them – they made my nose and eyes run they were so hot!) we had steak (me) and surf and turf (Franky). This was all washed down with a good Chilean red.

After dinner we had intended to have a potter around the village and check out a few bars as it looked pretty cute but it seemed that by midnight it was pretty much closed so we flagged down a Sang Thaew (truck with two benches in the back) and headed back to the resort. It must be well known for honeymooners as when we told the driver where we were staying the immediately asked if we were on honeymoon.

We’d picked up another bottle of red wine and jumped back in the hot tub to end another lovely day.

Day 91

Monday 31^st January 2011

The alarm went off and we had to pack AGAIN! However, anything was better than staying here another night. Franky headed off to reception to ask for our money back for the remaining three nights. Not wanting to offend by telling them what we thought of their island we had simply agreed to tell them that we needed to go home unexpectedly. Due to the language barrier he got no sympathy but the lady readily agreed to give us a refund – result!

We had to collect our laundry and so couldn’t leave until the 2.30pm boat. We had a couple of tuna sandwiches for brunch and sat it out in reception. The hotel transferred us back to the pier where I was delighted to climb aboard the vessel of death from the previous day and set sail.

Fortunately the weather was a little better today and the sea a little less rough. I even saw the sun on a couple of occasions as it peeked out from behind a cloud – everything was looking up!

When we got back to Big Buddha pier we dived in the nearest internet café to sort out a hotel. Franky’s perusal of laterooms came good again and we got a great deal on a 5 star resort at the on a hill overlooking the end of Chaweng. This was maybe only 20 minutes walk from where we had been staying two nights ago. What’s more if we stretched ourselves a bit we could afford the grand suite – with a hot tub on the balcony – now this was starting to sound like a fitting end to the honeymoon.

We jumped in the nearest taxi and asked them to take us straight there. On arrival we were delighted to find welcoming reception staff who ushered us to the bar area with stunning views over the island as our room was prepared. They explained that this may take a short time as the suite was quite large (108 square metres) and we’d only booked it 30 minutes before we arrived!!!!

When we were shown to the room it was certainly worth the wait. On the 4^th floor of the hotel the views from the enormous balcony were spectacular.

The balcony itself was bigger than many of the rooms we have stayed in thus far. It has two large day beds for sunbathing, table and chairs and the hot tub jacuzzi for two – perfect.

Inside we have a huge bed and a flat screen TV in the bedroom and another flat screen with DVD player and surround sound system in the lounge which is kitted out with a couch and a couple of armchairs. We have a mini bar fridge and a coffee machine. The bathroom has his and hers sinks and his and hers showers. There are even two loos in the room – one in the bathroom and a ‘guest loo’ just off the lounge. I’ve never seen anything like it in my life!

After running around switching everything on and off and giggling like school children we thought it was time to get ourselves sorted and head out. This involved more surprises. The hotel is built at the top of a very steep hill but this is no problem for us. As we reach reception we are greeted by a member of staff in a golf buggy who is waiting to take us down to the main road that runs through the resort. We are whisked down the hill and meander along the road into Chaweng centre, much happier to be surrounded by bustling bars and restaurants that the dirty depressing venues in Had Rin.

We choose to eat at a busy restaurant called Samui Seafood. The food is fabulous. Franky is adventurous and has lobster cocktail to start followed by shark steaks. The service is too laid back to be called service at all but we have a lovely evening there. After dessert and some brutally strong liqueur coffees we decide to head back to KC resort and try out the hot tub.

We pop into a shop along the way back and pick up a bottle of red wine before we are taken back up the hill and delivered to the lifts by the golf buggy. With the hot tub full of bubbles we sit back overlooking this tropical paradise and realise finally that this is what it feels like to be on honeymoon!

Day 90

Sunday 30^th January 2011

We woke feeling fresh and sober which is a rarity since hitting South East Asia. This was good as we had to pack the bags for the penultimate time as we were heading to the next island, Koh Pha Ngan for our last stop of the honeymoon. The plan was for more R & R on the beach but the sun was still refusing to make an appearance. In fact when we arrived at Big Buddha pier to catch the ferry torrential rains started.

The crossing was horrendous. I’m not usually sea sick but the swell was huge and the boat pitched and lurched its way across the bay. Looking out of the window I could see the sky one minute and the swirling angry sea the next. I thought the honeymoon might be coming to a watery end. I think all the passengers were of the same opinion as no one said a word for the duration of the 45 minute crossing – it was a white knuckle ride all the way!

I took this as we boarded, the smiles soon diasappeared when we hit the open water!

Fortunately we did make it – although you should have worked that out since I’m clearly able to write about the experience! We disembarked at Had Rin pier and were collected by a driver from Palita Lodge to whisk us to our hotel.

We were soon there and were greeted warmly by the hotel staff who informed us that they had upgraded us to a pool side villa. We skipped off to the room…. To discover that whilst on the face of it this looked like a lovely big room the bed was damp and the sheets were positively yellow. This might explain the list of rules we were given on arrival. Seemingly on now account were we to go to bed in body paint. For those of you who don’t know Had Rin is the site of the famous Full Moon Party. This monthly event sees tens of thousands of travellers descend on the little island once a month for the Mother of all parties. We, however, had missed it and were just expecting a nice beach resort for the last 4 days of the honeymoon.

We were hungry as lunch was overdue so decided to head out and explore. Palita Lodge was located right on the beach.

I must confess I’ve been to Koh Pha Ngan before, 4 years ago in October I spent 5 nights here with Gemma and we had a fantastic time. I remembered it as a beautiful little island that was far less commercialised than Koh Samui. There was no chance of finding a McDonald’s here. We’d also had many a great night out drinking at the beach bars on the very beach on which I was now standing 4 years later with my husband in tow. I could scarcely believe my eyes. It was horrible. It wasn’t helped by the weather. The rain had stopped but you could scarcely differentiate between the grey cloud and the raging sea. However, this did not account for the fact that the beach was filthy. We picked our way through discarded bottles, glass, straws, flip flops and even a toothbrush as we made our way up the beach. The other end of the beach was even worse. It was dirtier and flanked by a number of dilapidated bars that had closed down.

Thinking things might be better in town we headed up a side road away from the beach. The town was largely deserted. Many of the restaurants and shops were closed. We had our laundry with us and struggled to find somewhere to do it!

We stopped in café that had a few punters watching the Australian Open for some lunch. We had some tasty Thai curries but the food did little to lighten my mood. This was the last stop on our trip and it seemed absolutely awful. I couldn’t see how we were going to pass four days here, especially if the weather didn’t buck up.

We glumly headed back to the hotel in the hope that the weather forecast for the next few days would bring us some happy news. Unfortunately thought the hotels Wi-Fi wasn’t working so we were left wondering. There was nothing else for it but to nap – which we did in spectacular fashion for 3 hours.

When we awoke we decided to head back out and see if the island had any nightlife to offer us. With renewed optimism after a good hot shower we set off again into town.

We walked back down the beach and two of the sordid looking bars now had rough wooden picnic tables out on the beach. There were a number of bucket stalls (drinks are sold in buckets on Koh Pha Ngan) but none of the tables, chairs and rugs that I remembered from years ago to sit, meet new friends and drink the night away. Once in town we discovered there was still no one about and many of the restaurants still hadn’t opened. Those that had were empty.

We came across a restaurant owned by two Danish girls called Same Same that had a smattering of people watching the Arsenal match so opted to eat there. The Aresnal game led into the city game and we sat and discussed our fate. By now we were both in agreement that we didn’t want to end our honeymoon like this and so we would leave and go back to Koh Samui. We spent an hour in an internet café reviewing our options for accommodation back on Koh Samui. We liked the idea of booking into a nice hotel but concluded that the amount we could spend was largely dependant on whether we could get back the money we had spent on the Palita Lodge.

We made our way back down the beach in the direction of home. The two sordid bars now had a smattering of punters but with dance music blaring from speakers that wouldn’t have looked out of place at a festival we didn’t think polite conversation over a bucket or two would really work. We were discussing whether the start watching ‘The long way down’ which I have seen or ‘The long way round’ which Franky has seen to pass the evening when we came across a little bar set up on the beach by our hotel. It only had two punters but the music was at a much more sociable level and so we decided to make the most of our one and only night on the island and join them for a beer.

The two punters turned out to be Jasper, a Dutch lad who was 19 and travelling through Asia for 6 months and Steve, a 32 year old American who was on vacation from his teaching job in China as it is Chinese New Year in a couple of days. They informed us that there ARE in fact people on Koh Pha Ngan and the party is still conducted on the beach. However, nothing really gets going until 1.00am. We were still confused as to what all the people were up to before 1.00am – were they not warming up for the night with a few drinks or even a meal? Steve and Jasper were headed to a bar at the end of the beach called Mellow Mountain and we went along.

We had a few drinks up there overlooking the sea. Sure enough people began to mosey out onto the beach and we could see fire throwers and flags flying down at the bars we had passed earlier. Jasper encouraged us down there to join the party. When we reached the party we realised it really wasn’t our scene. The music was thumping, and I mean thumping. There were maybe 150 people on the beach across the two bars. Most were dancing on tables and I would estimate 80% of them weren’t choosing alcohol as their drug for the evening. The beach was still filthy and we had to pick our way between the litter with slimy wet sand underfoot.

We walked all the way to the opposite end of the beach where the closed down bars were. One still had all its chairs and tables out and was set up above the level of the beach. We climbed up and sat there for a bit surveying the scene. It was really depressing. From what I can gather the party of Had Rin is very much now a drug fuelled party. Consequently the bars are losing money and shutting down. Once the bars have closed no one is taking the time to clean up the beach and so the resort is further spiralling into decline.

We headed back to our wet and yellow bed at the Palita Lodge, happy in our decision to get the hell off the island first thing in the morning.

Day 89

Saturday 29^th January 2011

We woke to torrential rain. This does not bode well for our last day on Koh Samui. So I got back into bed in the hope it would all miraculously brighten up….

….. it didn’t.

Eventually we were driven out of the hotel room by hunger….. with UMBERELLAS!?! This is not how I envisaged our last week of honeymoon!

We went down town for breakfast. Franky ordered the full English…. With no sautéed potatoes. Now, I imagine to the Thai waitress ‘no sautéed potatoes’ could have sounded a lot like ‘no sausages’…. and that was what he got! Bitterly disappointed he beckoned the waitress over and explained the mistake. He asked if they could cook him some sausages and she agreed and tried to take the plate away. As Franky was already tucking in he was none to keen to lose his breakfast so suggested that she just bring the sausages over when they were ready. The waitress trotted over to the kitchen and we wrongly assumed the matter had been resolved. Oh no, now the head honcho waitress wanted to get involved. Firstly she informed Franky that he had mislead the waitress as she thought he did not want sausages… which went down well as you can imagine. Then she agreed that he could have sausages but he would have to relinquish some bacon as the chef had given him 3 rashers to make up for the lack of sausages. This seemed a bit ridiculous as the bacon was cooked and on his plate – surely they weren’t going to give it to someone else?! Well, we don’t know but they wouldn’t bring sausages without taking his plate away to remove the bonus bacon so he reluctantly agreed, His plate was returned some 5 minutes later with sausages but the potatoes and bacon were gone and presumably were served to the next unsuspecting customer!

After that fiasco we sat in the bar for bit watching the rain and surfing the net.

When it finally stopped we headed back to the hotel for a beer.

There were a number of people cloud bathing so after a dip in the sea we decided to join them.

It wasn’t pleasant. In fact it was positively unpleasant so we gave it up as a bad job and headed back to the room for a nap. When we awoke it was time to get ready to go out as we’d arranged to meet up with the Garlick’s again tonight.

We’d arranged to meet them at a bank but as we were early got a drink  in the bar next door. On arrival there received a message that they had got off the bus at McDonalds. We finished our drinks and started walking in that direction and they started walking up. We got to Mc Donald’s and concluded that we must have missed them so we text to say so and started off back to the bank. They said they were on their way up but that is we were at McDonald’s they would turn around and head back that way, also surprised that they hadn’t spotted us. We arrived back at the bank and still no sign of the Garlicks so back we fired off another text and went back to McDonald’s…. on arrival we got another message to say that Paul had just realised there were TWO McDonald’s in Chaweng and they were at the other one! Honestly – this is why boys shouldn’t be left to do the organising.

So we finally met for dinner over an hour after our original meeting time., Suffice to say we were all hot and sweaty and in need of a beer. We opted for a little air conditioned Italian restaurant where 4 cold beers were swiftly ordered and drunk.

Franky made his second food faux pas of the day by ordering the Calzone pizza. Now to you and I this is a regular pizza folded over and cooked like a giant Cornish pasty. This is not the Thai interpretation. They don’t put the tomato pizza base sauce in so what he got resembled a giant cheese and ham toastie. Franky, not to be beaten, called the waitress over who was all smiles when she explained that, ‘No sir, we haven’t forgotten the tomato but the Calzone does not come with tomato’. Franky tried to explain that this was in fact wrong and that they should. She wasn’t having any of that but did concede that they would bring him a bowl of tomato pizza base sauce if that would solve the problem. They did and he poured it over the top – disaster averted!

Random statue at the toilets!

After dinner we headed to an Irish pub named Tropical Murphys who had a Philippino band on who were much better than the other live acts we’ve seen since arriving in South East Asia. They were also very entertaining as the lead singer did the splits across two chairs whilst head banging during ‘Sweet Child of Mine’. We also managed to catch the end of Man Utd vs Southampton in the FA cup.

We had already agreed to take the hint if the bar closed around us tonight and just go home, especially as Paul and Victoria had had real problems getting back to their resort after our escapades on the beach a couple of nights previously! So when the bar closed after the football we said our goodbyes and headed home to bed down the beach.