Wednesday 2nd February 2011
This time next week I’ll be getting up for work – Ow! That’s reality biting and it’s not pleasant.
This is our last full day of honeymoon, so as a special treat I didn’t even set the alarm. Consequently we didn’t wake up until 11.00am. When I threw back the curtains I saw that although we’d missed breakfast we hadn’t missed much else. It had clearly been raining for much of the morning.
The weather was still lousy. We had been planning to spend our last full day at the beach but there seemed to be little point.
Instead we have mostly been lazing around in the hotel room. We didn’t even get dressed – I just put on my hotel bathrobe and spent the day lazing away on the day bed on the balcony. We got peckish and so ordered room service.
I’ve been getting the blog up to date before we come home and Franky has been watching Dexter on DVD since he’s missed the last series at home. On the whole it was been a lovely afternoon.
By 3.30pm the sun still hadn’t put in an appearance so we concluded that the beach was a no go and got back into the hot tub instead to finish off the bottle of wine from last night. And then Franky went back to bed for a nap – honestly that boy can sleep for England
As part of the package when we booked the accommodation we were given a seafood dinner for two in the hotel restaurant to celebrate Chinese New Year which is today. Neither of us are much into seafood but thought we’d give it a try – it wasn’t going to cost us anything so why not!
We got down to the restaurant at 7.00pm and there was just one other couple in there who were also having the seafood platter. It was quite romantic in the candlelit restaurant overlooking the island. Although it was very windy so we couldn’t sit out.
The seafood platter was OK. We had crab and lobster, some fish fillet, king prawns and mussels. We had fun trying to get the meat out of the crab claws with our cutlery in the mood lighting. At least no one else could tell we didn’t have a clue what we were doing!
It came with tempura vegetables, salad and rice which would have all been delicious if it wasn’t a little cold. You see the thing with this resort is your expectations are really high because you’ve paid a lot of dough out and its supposed to be 5*, so when things aren’t perfect you get a bit upset. For instance, they didn’t replenish the mini bar, not the end of the world I know, but when you’ve enjoyed something out of it one night (which is chargeable at 5* resort prices) you’d expect to be able to enjoy it again the next. One night a bloke came to turn down the sheets and light an anti mosquito candle which was lovely, but where was he for the other two nights? One night a fella came to the room and delivered our pool towels and a fruit bowl, the next day we went to ask for pool towels and were told that there was too many guests for everyone to have a towel and the place was half empty! And on and on the story goes but to get back to the point the food was cold because the lovely women in the restaurant (and they were lovely) decided that we needed an additional table to put all the different foods they brought out on, by the time they’d finished messing about, the food was cold. We didn’t complain as it was complimentary but it certainly answered the question as to why the restaurant was dead every night.
After dinner we planned on doing a pub crawl through Chaweng for our last night. There had been a storm brewing all day but it had just kept spitting and then giving up. When we eventually left the confines of the room the heavens opened properly and as we made our way down the hill in the hotel’s golf buggy it began to pour with rain. Perfect weather for a pub crawl!
We jumped in a Song Thaew and headed to the other end of town where we started in Tropical Murphys with a pint of Chang a piece.
From there we moved on to an Aussie bar very inventively named Bondi bar and also stepped up our game, moving onto cocktails. They had a standard issue mediocre Thai live band on.
From there we were headed to legends when we heard music pumping out of a bar up a side street which was full of holiday makers. It was billed as a cabaret bar – it was certainly entertaining. The bulk of the ‘touts’ / ‘waitresses’ were lady boys. Some of them you had to look twice at as they were quite convincing. Others were so desperately butch it was hilarious. It seemed the majority of the cabaret dancers were also male. Some had had ‘the op’ other just liked playing dress up. There were a few female dancers in there too to add confusion. We spent an hour making our way through a jug of vodka red bull and playing ‘boy or girl?’
When it was time to leave we were accosted by one of the ‘waitresses’ who asked if we would like a photo. It seemed rude to refuse so we agreed. I was first as the ‘lady’. I was more than shocked when ‘she’ hoiked down ‘her’ clingy dress to reveal her boobs and then grabbed my hand and thrust it on top. Franky wasn’t getting away with it either. The camera was passed to me and then it was his turn!
Finally ‘she’ demanded a tip for the photo. Franky dug in his wallet and pulled out 100 Bhat. ‘She’ wanted that placing in ‘her’ knickers which ‘she’ pulled down leaving under no illusion that ‘she’d’ gone for the full top and tails option with ‘her’ surgeon!!! I had honestly thought there were no more ‘experiences’ to be had as the honeymoon was so near the end – how wrong could I be!
A little dazed by what had just occurred we hurried to the safety of legends bar for some of their super strong cocktails in the hope that we could obliterate some of the memories.
A few drinks later at 2.00am we headed back to our little haven of luxury for one final night.
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