Day 77

Monday 17^th January 2011

When I opened my eyes this morning I was startled to discover that I couldn’t see properly, thinking that it was probably “eye gunk” I gave them a good rub but that was in vain, I rubbed them again, nothing. I started to panic a little, what’s happened? Have I got cataracts? Did something happen in the night? I bet I’ve got malaria and blurred vision is one of the symptoms!! As it turned out I’d just forgot that we slept inside a mosquito net, my Mum always said I was a hypochondriac.

We got up with fully functioning eyes and headed downstairs for some brekkie, we were gonna need it today as we were going tubing down the Nam Song river. I opted for the bacon and egg roll and Suz had…..erm….. somet else, but we both had coffee I remember that.

We were due to meet outside the place we’d booked the tubing at 13:00 so we had a leisurely stroll into town and had a look about, taking in the sights, smells and abundance of counterfeit goods that were available. We got to the tubing shop at about 12:45 and feeling hungry again informed the lady we were going to pop next door for lunch. A full belly before a day of drinking is essential. We both ate huge tuna baguettes and washed them down with a can of fizzy pop, bring on the booze.

Our Tuk Tuk arrived shortly afterwards so armed with a waterproof bag and a tractor inner tube we headed out of town eager to see what the start line had in store for us.

Vang Vieng used to be the place that tourists would stop for a wee and a cig between the world heritage site of Luang Probang and Vientiane. But a few years ago the locals started to build bars along the river bank, add in some swings, zip lines and waterslides over the river and you have one hell of a crazy party town which is now a tourist destination in its own right, (I personally think that they could reinvent “Burrs Country Park” with some rope swings over the river) we couldn’t wait to arrive.

When we did we realised just how messy the day was going to get, I imagined the bars to be spaced out and that you would drink in one bar, get in tube for maybe ten minutes, then, find another bar and so on. In reality there were bars everywhere, each with their own take on a rope swing or a zip line, the first two of these bars were packed, so we decided to start at the start and headed for bar one.

The girl at the first bar/ shck informed us that there was a bottle of whiskey on the bar and that it was free shots all day everyday, she also added that we should enjoy ourselves, well how could we not. The beer was cheap too and we took our pew and took in some of the sites, mainly people backflipping and what not off the swing.

It wasn’t long until I could resist no more, so I climbed the homemade wooden steps to the rope swing and almost certain death.

Ok so “certain death” was a massive over reaction as I actually loved the damn thing!

We got chatting to a few people around us who plied us with free whiskey and before long we were well into the swing of things. I had another couple of goes on the swing and then as a group we decided to move to the next bar, which was about 20 meters away across the river.

Things were getting into party mood over there too as people forgot about the rope swings and just dived head first into the green splash. Cheap beer and free whiskey almost inevitably attracts foolish westerners.

 

CLICK TO ENLARGE

From there on in the carnage increased at a rate of knots. I had a go on the bars zip line and was confused as to why so many people were watching me, I know I’ve put on a bit of chub but have some decency! I elegantly belly flopped backwards into the water (is that even possible?) and as I surfaced trying desperately to hide my pain one of the onlookers shouted “where’s your shoes mate?” I lifted my feet to the surface and showed him my flip flops that were somehow still attached to my feet. Feeling smug I swam to the edge. It was then that I realised that the bloke wasn’t interested in my ‘shoes’, he’d asked me where my SHADES had gone, so that’s what they were all looking at, bugger!

Er Suz, I’ve done it again…….. luckily Suz was getting far too pissed to care. We moved on to the third bar about 16:00.

Everybody from the first and second bars were now in the third and fourth bars, we drank with our new friends and made more friends the more we drank, our mates consisted of Darren and Janette from Scotland, Chris from Oldham, Pete from Ireland, Lee from Leeds. (Lee is the one ruining my panoramic picture)

We even bumped into some city fans from Heywood (Stockport).

The drinking seemed to accelerate between us but as we turned around we realised that everyone had left. Remembering that the lady had requested our tubes back by six we figured we’d give one last bar a go before heading back (after one more go on their zip line)

We stopped at the next bar down which was advertising Mud Volleyball. I know it was a long shot but you never know if that was where the young and the lithe had vacated to. Alas I had no such luck so I consoled myself with a local drink which was disgusting.

We were losing sunlight fast and I had heard one too many tales about people being stuck on the river so we stumbled into our rings and headed down stream to a bridge, where we clambered out of the river to discover that only myself, Suz and Lee had made it. We waited for 10 minutes but none of them surfaced. We figured that at least they had each other and scrambled up the river banks to a row of waiting Tuk Tuks.

We got back into town and arranged to meet Lee in Q bar after a changed of clothes and some tea. The temperature really drops in Vang Vieng in the evening so after a shower we went out in full “Inca Trail” wear and was glad of it to! We stopped in at an Indian Restaurant for tea and after that we started to sober up a little. We had two options;

1. Order more beer, stave off the hangover and go and join the other revellers in Q Bar across the road or….
2. Get the bill and go back to the room and the warmth of the bed

NIGHT!